With towers of Pringles around my feet, several glasses of Coke spilled and constant grunts and complaints of back pain after sitting on my arse all day, it’s no wonder that I wasn’t invited to this years’ E3. Still, at least I could sit by on proceedings with snacks on hand and severe buffering issues ahoy, watching all three major conferences…on a wheelie office chair. Suck on that ‘Professional’ journalists.
First off, Microsoft. Thanks to its abysmal technical start, my hopes weren’t high. The lights dimmed. Silence. A familiar pinging sound of an intercom turned on, followed by a neon green number three. Several cave dwellers in the audience looked confused, but everyone else has successfully cottoned on. A spotlight appeared, showing…not a godlike figure…but one with a controller, so we rolled with it. The screen changed to an underwater scene…in a subway. Several scuba divers cut through a wrought iron grid to progress. Then, a peculiar ‘Bur-dup’, sound. A pause menu. A message saying “Please reconnect controller”. The monumental groan that ensued that sounded like everyone set synced their disappointment amplifiers perfectly, and was something of a hilarious mess up to witness.
Ironically, it was an error which perfectly summed up the rest of the talk. When the message appeared, the clumsy demonstrator might as well have thrown the controller away and cried out that no one should need to use such witch craft in the future. It was incredibly prominent for almost an hour that Microsoft was still rolling about in love with Kinect, and if they weren’t talking about the minority of titles that would apparently be greater with Kinect, they were talking about titles that needed Kinect.
A majority of the show was a mime event, showcasing people groping invisible objects like I was watching a stage adaptation of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. There were a couple of cringeworthy ‘buddies’ totally ‘dissing’ each other whilst playing Kinect Sports: Season 2 and a bizarre man seated like an awkward teenager in a brothel filled with sick cats demonstrated the gravel milkshake of disappointment that was Fable: The Journey. Doing away with the 3rd person adventure foundations that has built the franchise up through the years, The Journey seems to be a 1st person carriage simulator, with some on-rails magic shooter elements. We knew Lionhead wanted to nudge the Kinect into Fable 3 in some way, but this looked too linear,too conventional, and overall too dull to even work in such a franchise. Hopefully this horse driving instalment will travel you through magical locations, epic cities and allow you to meet charming characters that lead you on a quest of immense proportions, but I’m not holding out hope. Peter Molyneux didn’t even bother spewing hype all over the conference floor this year, he just announced the game and ran off leaving a poor bugger to demo it. If I’ve learnt anything in this generation, it’s that when Peter Molyneux goes quiet and just can’t deliver a positive spin, something can’t be good.
When people weren’t using their imaginations to control machinations, they were chillin’ with Ice T and playing a bit of Gears 3. Looked great, but slightly screwed up the whole feeling when Cliffy B kept highlighting his rapper buddy Ice-T looking deadly focsued on playing the game with him, and with the rapper claiming he’s going to make a song about the Gears Of War Hoarde mode (WTF). The gameplay looked fantastic, but unfortunately was coated in this weird bit of brosif behaviour, so hopefully a great demo is on it’s way soon to play on my lonesome, without this friend rubbish getting in my way. The sadly inevitable Halo 4 teaser played the conference out, and although looks epic for a teaser, I was saddened (and slightly naïve to think) that we hadn’t left this phase. I really wanted to see a new franchise, exclusive to the Xbox, that would give the console something new to blow its trumpet over. Then again, whereas I’m not a massive fan of this development, there’s limitless fanboys who are.
Pros? The Tomb Raider demo looked exceptional, though I hope Lara doesn’t constantly narrate everything that occurs before her. The cries of pain and grunts of exhaustion were incredibly poignant to the atmosphere of the title, if slightly marred by Miss Croft reading out your own internal gamer monologue at points in a Bridget Jones’ dialect. But then again, that’s a multi-platform title, so we can’t really chalk that one up to Mocrosoft. Forza 4 looked absolutely glorious, and the definite stand out title of the event for myself, yet unfortunately was cast aside for some more Kinect focused titles. Otherwise, where it wasn’t disappointing, it was merely showcasing franchises we’ve seen before.
Next up, Sony, a mixed bag of great hardware, blockbuster titles, and some dodgy Playstation Move input. Uncharted looks freaking awesome, along with Resistance 3, but we already knew that would be the case, right? Thankfully the quality of the titles on display managed to shun the elephant in the room that was the PSN crisis of 2011, yet did it convince everyone who left the platform to come back? Short answer…no. It just shoved some new hardware in their faces to buy instead.
The NGP tore of its mask to become the ‘Vita’, a wuvly, sexier looking PSP, with some great graphics, touch screen and a levy of social and personal networking features. It’s a great looking piece of kit, but hopefully Sony will take advantage of its features and push it forward harder than they did the PSP. I have faith in this portable console making a strong indent on the portable market, but it really does depend on developer commitment…and whether people are willing to pay the price, especially if they’ve already shelled out on the 3DS.
A bit of tech I was much more interested in was the Playstation branded television, promising to bring 3D gaming to everyone at a more affordable price. Now, I guess $499 is practically nothing if you’re a Sony executive, but hell I was tempted to trade in my old telly for one (when converted to sterling, of course. I am a British gentleman, after all). The most interesting concept was that of wearing 2 separate pairs of 3D glasses and seeing two separate displays, effe
ctively doing away with split-screen. Should this actually work without the both of you having to sit in funny angles across the room, this is some sort of witchcraft which I wouldn’t mind shelling out on, just to have a half decent cooperative/competitive sofa bound experience.
Apart from that, the Blockbuster games lived up to their reputation with Naughty Dog and Insomniac looking as if they’re in top form, but a heartfelt speech from Bioshock Infinite creative director Ken Levine about how he saw potential in the Playstation Move wasn’t enough to distract from the fairly bog standard demo of Medieval Heroes, a shoddy looking third party title that met with sarcastic aplomb from spectators. It seems the only way the luminous sex toy will gain any pride is whilst being showcased alongside 2011’s biggest titles, and I can’t help but feel it’s going to stay that way until the PS3 comes to the end of its life.
Last, but by no means least, Nintendo. A conference which started with many a showing off of some quality 3DS titles, where many muttered should’ve been up on release, soon turned into something a lot bigger. The announcement of the Wii’s successor, the Wii U was greeted with louder and louder gasps as the conference continued…and not because the name makes it sound like a petty voodoo chant for a cannibal tribe based in Aldi.
The concepts the Wii U brings to the table look incredibly intriguing. The transitions of moving your game from the telly to the controller is sure to aggravate many parents/partners trying to tear you away from the screen, but at least now they’ll be able to watch Corrie in peace. Keeping your HUD and menu on the separate screen will make it easier to witness the new HD graphics without statistics blocking your view, a nightmare for anyone who hates numbers, and is reminiscent of the days you’d plug your Game Boy Advance into the Gamecube for extras, a feature I loved in Zelda:The Wind Waker. Being able to see things from a different angle with the new screen such as where you place you golf ball does seem rather gimmicky, but it really does depend on how developers choose to use this technology.
You can’t really say they’re not excited about it. There will definitely be some interesting and unique uses of the tech with all the positive press generated from the developers, and the line-up of games for it is not so much impressive as it is shocking considering the Wii’s dummy sucking reputation. Batman: Arkham City?NINJA GAIDEN 3!?!? There were gasps in the audience when these graced the Nintendo screen, and you can’t blame the shocked. Looking on the past, it’s so easy to be pessimistic, and yet this console is certainly showing signs of hope. Then again, faces practically started melting in anticipation when the words Super Smash Bros. was uttered, a shining example of how to get an audience psyched for not just your upcoming console, but your recently released 3DS.
The only issues I really see with the Wii U so far is expense. That tablet like controller bundled with a new console cannot be cheap, and should you wish to play multi-player, that’s going to be a lot more Wii controllers and nunchucks to infiltrate your living room. Let’s hope the multi-player elements of its games don’t involve loads of those Wii U controllers, otherwise you’ll practically have to pawn everything including your wallet to afford it.
Although the major console announcements of the event need to have the hype bolted until physically played later in the year to see how they really effect gameplay positively, E3 has certainly done its job. I can’t help but feel very excited about the period in between now and the next electronic showcase. There’s news I’ve heard here which I need to hear more about in the next few months, namely from the Nintendo side, just down to intrigue, and the blockbuster titles of 2011 are looking as though they won’t disappoint. Hopefully at next years E3, Microsoft will blast out some amazing new franchises to make them stand out from the gaming crowd, Sony’s Vita and PS3 will be working together in perfect harmony to produce some excellent titles and nifty features, and Nintendo will have released the Wii U so that I’m too busy to watch any of it.