Or, how to be more socially accepted in gaming
Fanboy-ism is a curious thing: despite a general consensus that it is only a small section of the gaming community, most gamers cannot help but get involved. Buying a specific product engenders a certain amount of affiliation, and most of us feel the need to justify our purchase. However, fanboy (or girl, but not as often – girls tend to be a lot more level headed) behaviour is a big no-no: just check out the reasons why.
1 It makes you offensive to others.
Sooner or later, your argument boils down to “Sony are s***, MS are teh best, and you sux!” or similar: maybe you don´t realise that you have lost the argument right there. A personal attack is the last form of defence, showing that you yourself know that your argument holds no water. If you absolutely must debate the relative merits of PC graphics versus consoles, at least keep it technical. “Consols R 4 Nubs who cant play” really doesn´t do you (or by extension, your fellow gamers) any justice whatsoever. I bet you are also the first to call cheat on better players too….
2 You don’t create a feasible argument
Pretty straightforward, this one – we all like different games for different reasons. The world would be a very boring place if we didn´t. 99% of the arguments you are going to put forward are based on personal taste – graphics, gameplay, story, design, game modes are all liked by some and not others. AvP isn´t a better game on PC because you can set the resolution stupidly high – yes, we all congratulate you that you have spent a stupid amount of money on a graphics card, but we enjoy it (or not) just the same on our 360s. Yes, Bayonetta runs better on 360, but Final Fantasy 13 is superior on PS3. And, although you may think otherwise, the fact your PC runs Team Fortress 2 at 120 fps compared to the “measly” 360 at 45 fps means nothing – your eyes can´t really detect any change over about 40 fps anyway. One game won´t win your war – not that the war is worth winning in the first place.
3 Most of your peers think you are a fool
Other gamers generally tend to hate fanboys – you pull us into an argument we don’t feel we need to have. Most of us are perfectly happy playing Halo or Killzone without having to drag down the other to prove our superiority, and we don´t understand why you do either. If you think Gran Turismo is the “”Best Game Evar!!1!!!!”, why aren´t you playing it instead of attacking Forza? We gamers are often a somewhat estranged bunch – try explaining why you like WoW or GTA to people who don´t play to see what I mean. We don´t need the bickering and in-fighting you guys get off on, we don´t care about it, and we generally accept that we buy the system that matches our needs as gamers. So, please, stop making us all look bad – we all get labelled bickering, whiny and just plain rude because you won´t live-and-let-live.
4 You buy pointless products to prove a point
Well done, you have just spent 180$ on a new gaming keyboard and mouse – you now have earned the right to call everyone else a “noob”, and behave in a superior manner. But wait a second – did you really need it? Surely if you were right, the more you spend, the better you are? So why do you still struggle to get into a decent clan in MW2? Did the plastic golf club for your Wii actually make you feel like you were on the green? Does the Limited Edition faceplate for your 360 actually – you know what, I don´t need to continue. You get the point.
5 Exclusives are going the way of the dodo
OK, this is more prediction than fact, but the truth is, most “exclusives” nowadays are timed. Most major companies see the benefit of multi platform launches, and want the financial dividends. Remember in 2008, the biggest fanboi row: the GTA4 expansions were “exclusive” to Microsoft, thereby “proving the dominance of the 360”? Well, guess what – we all can play ´em now, we just had to be patient. Another point for the level headed.
6 The companies don´t respect you for it
Heads up, fanboys – Sony and Microsoft don´t care about your wars. Nintendo will not sponsor your campaign. The big companies may quote sales figures at each other, and deride each other’s games from time to time, but the real truth is – they don’t care. They just want you and your buddies to keep buying the games, and keep lining their pockets. The most that Sony are bothered about Halo is making sure they don´t release a game the same week – that way, they keep selling product. Truth is, I bet most major execs own all the consoles at home – I can just see Reggie Fils-Aime playing Halo with Jack Tretton and laughing about the “man-cannon”….
7 People can win a debate by pointing out that you are a fanboy
The internet is a curious thing – everything you post gets stored, and most forum-goers have long memories. So here is the scene – you are four pages into a long debate with MasterChef127 about the dominance of the PS3, and by extension, all things Sony. You are doing pretty well – he hasn’t really explained away the technical stats argument, and you are warming up the Blu-Ray Speech of Win. Suddenly, out of left field BAM! – he pastes a thread from five years ago, when you were an unabashed Xbot attacking the PS2. Dude, you got burned – all your careful planning and well organised points fall about your ears as you are exposed for the fickle turncoat you are.
8 It makes you less attractive to the opposite sex
I am sure you will argue you don´t care, but one day, you will – no one finds frothy mouthed devotion attractive (except maybe Neo Nazis and cult members). Well, maybe the odd other geek, but how are you going to explain that blooming relationship to your ubermacho MW2 homies?
9 You will defend the undefendable
Pretty simple, really: you guys are so desperate to score points off each other, anything goes. Natal/ PS Move is NOT a Wii rip off, but a separately researched project that just happens to be similar. Trophies are COMPLETELY different to Achievements. Dead Rising was JUST as good on the Wii. You get the idea yet?
10 Competition is healthy
The final point is the irrefutable argument – let us say you are irrevocably right, and everyone now only buys your preferred machine. After a while, your platform is the only machine available due to its superiority: gaming as we know it heads on a steep decline. Companies would no longer need to innovate, as the core market wouldn´t have an alternative, so we would end up with churned out clones and poor quality titles. The competition of having different platforms goes against this, as the companies involved have to keep finding ways to keep purchasers interested. Look at the pre-Wii market – 360 and PS3 were almost indistinguishable, and then Nintendo shook it up by proving that it wasn´t all about the graphics (market sales prove this point).
So, let us hope we will see the end of the fanboy, and all that they represent. Topical debate is a good thing – rabid obsession is not. Mom is going to take your console away when she sees how you are behaving, and you will be stuck playing a second rate NBA Live clone outside in the yard with your siblings (Hint: its official title is Real Life). So chill out, relax, and save your anger for your favourite games – you´ll enjoy it far more, and we all get some peace.
The Bad: No!
