Half Minute Hero: Super Mega Neo Climax Review (XBLA)

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When I was a kid, I was so naïve to think that quantity was quality in the gaming world, and by this logic JRPG’s should be the Holy Grail of anything to grace gaming platforms. How wrong I was. 60 hours of grinding, exploring fields and ‘character depth’ consisting of over dramatic monologues that sound like they’re lyrics ripped from a Snow Patrol song and 10 hours of cut scenes taken up by unnecessary gasping and grunting from the weakest party members does not constitute great gaming. And yet any change from that seems absurd. Uproarious guffaws at the prospect of ever gracing the genre with anything the polar opposite of this. Half Minute Hero:Super Mega Neo Climax throws the rule book in a quarry and lodges a grenade deep within it’s pages…and looks all the better for it.

Half-Minute Hero:Super Mega Neo Climax has everything the average RPG needs. Copious amounts of stats, lots of equipment to collect, an over-world map to explore, vast stores of HP to slice through and, of course, evil Lords hell-bent on destroying the world. These aren’t your typical goons who revel in their own ego and ‘BWAHAHAHAHA’ in the face of anyone who dare stop them. Nor are they the average Final Fantasy villains who I like to play the ‘Take a shot every time a gruff voice says “DOOM”‘ with and end up singing Don’t Stop Believing in an industrial chimney believing the echoes will brings the world together in harmony. They’re kamikazes who want everything eradicated as quickly as possible. Hence through perhaps the magic of Twitter the evil Lord’s of the land are learning a spell that will end the world 30 seconds after they cast it. As the hero of this story, it’s your job to save each continent put under this spell coincidentally starting every time you enter and stop this viral spell of doom from catching more word to rid the damned evil magic for good.

Leaping into every level/quest, there’s constantly a stark reminder weighing over your head of the 30 seconds draining away. Overhead maps are to be explored, battles are condensed into you rushing head on with monstrosities, there’s equipment to nab in dungeons, bosses to slay and side-quests to solve…and amazingly it all comfortably fits into this daunting half a minute.

Soon evolves into an epically addictive experience

Thankfully, you can bend the rules from the help of your one true ally; The Time Goddess. Villages can be graced by the presence of her statue, and by using it, can rewind time back to 30 seconds…for a price. Her questionable motivations for cash cause something of a dilemma seeing as her price goes up like an inexperienced hooker every time you use her. The helpful lifeline isn’t in infinite supply, and so forces you to juggle several tasks in the air and ensure that your kept on your toes in an effort to get your priorities straight. Do you save your cash to turn back time once more for a quick EXP trip, or shell out on an impressive looking weapon? Is it worth heading yards (it’s a long distance in this game) out of civilisation to gain another party member, or should you just venture on and take on the boss head on to save valuable seconds. It only takes a flash to assess your commodities, yet there’s desperation in sorting out your priorities, and it makes for an incredibly fluent, challenging and very fun game.

Just because you’re going to have to tear your way through from beginning to end to succeed, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be completing this in a flash. Quests are unlikely to leave you completely bewildered, yet a few troublesome adventures read their ugly heads to force you to go back to the drawing board. Even if you successfully conquer a quest, all contain mini-achievements to earn by completing them in different ways. Hell, experimenting with your rapid travels might even open new paths in the land to uncover even more new quests to complete. It’s easy to lose yourself in this game just from its addictive pacing, and the ever increasing amount of adventures on offer makes it a danger to losing many an afternoon.

Even if you become The Flash of bite-size RPG’s, even more challenging and diverse modes open up for you to play. All lean their ways into different alcoves of genres, yet still stick to the 30 second principle, and although not entirely as ambitious as its original counterpart, are still a blast to play through and extend the lifespan beyond what you’d think a game with such pacing can contain.

Half-Minute Hero made its mark on the PSP originally, so surely something must warrant the Super Mega Neo Climax part. Moving away from its retro 8-bit original look, HMH:SMNC creates a cuter, cartooney look to it, like you’re watching an animation through a land made from felt. It’s all very adorable, but it’s really the stereotypically too epic soundtrack laden with guitar riffs feels right at home when your on the final milliseconds of a quest.

Apart from the cute graphics, not a lot has really changed from the PSP version. With the hilarious self-parody retained and ripe throughout, and a great amount of modes on offer, however, it’s very hard to see what could’ve been added to an already more than satisfying mix.

Half-Minute Hero:Super Mega Neo Climax has a concept which jumps off paper as intriguing, and if snapped up at the relatively cheap price on offer, soon evolves into an epically addictive experience. It takes the time-management boredom usually reserved for dull business-management and waiter-simulation games and pumps it with…well…tons of speed, to create a bite size RPG that just doesn’t let up. This knowledge may not exactly be anything new to PSP owners, but anyone who hasn’t even heard of this title, JRPG fan or not, needs to give this brilliantly fun tongue-in-cheek title at least 30 seconds of their day.