Stardrone Review (PSN)

Has a tendency to drone on…

Maybe we’ve got it all wrong. The dangers of the known universe may not be as deadly as fear-mongers first thought. All those limb tearing and bowel penetrating and anal probing critters call upon certain enigmatic heroes to implode those dangers to smithereens, but even those conquerors who are about as ferocious as dandruff (a heavy batch, mind) need an equally mindless adversary. Enter Stardrone, an exceptionally bland battle to safe all known planets glitzed up in a starry disco of war.

Part pinball, part Breakout, Stardrone is a space age arcade of days gone by of which the rules are bizarre, yet simple. You’re taken to neon ignited bumper battlefields to fire unfortunately named drones of mindless activity to help defend the galaxy in a variety of simple missions. Leaving stars ignited in your wake, collecting gem fragments to form bigger stars or simply reach a pre-determined goal, it’s up to you to drag this helpless little fella from underdog to hero.

You constantly feel like you’re trapped in a pinball table

The drones are quite appropriately completely brainless in nature. They can’t even follow the most basic directions of movement from the D-Pad. Instead, the Playstation Move controller is required to leash the useless gadgets around the arenas. Strategically placed pivots must be clicked on with the Move button in order to tether the drone on, yet once fired, it is in constant motion. Latching onto these are the only way to master any form of control and prevent yourself from landing in a fresh batch of spikes, and so a fast hand and good timing are needed to jig around the glitzy deathground. The Dualshock can also be used, but takes away even more control by automatically leashing to the closet pivots, and trying to force the drone onto selected targets becomes a cross eyed chore that’s just not worth bothering with. This lack of control serves as the games main selling point, but backfires with a lack of skill that’s involved. There isn’t exactly a way of getting better at Stardrone, you’re just forced to learn by trial and error level by level. If you’re not snagged onto the gameplay in the first 10 minutes, you’ll struggle to reach the latter, genuinely challenging levels.

With around 50 levels on offer, there’s certainly enough bang for your buck should Stardrone absorb you, and medals are on offer for the ambitious. Online leaderboards also mean that there’s no matter how well you’re doing, there will always be a score to beat. The determined will find a desire to cut milliseconds off their best times and grab the golds, and it’s a shame that this competitive edge isn’t indulged in a little more multi-player madness.

Though the graphics aren’t exactly anything to write home about, the neon bumpers, the blood red spikes and the yellow flight paths are all easy to spot and plan for at any speed. As you glide and punch through the zero gravity arenas, boost pads whoosh, stars zing when lit up and bumpers so that you constantly feel that you’re trapped in a pinball table and overall combines well with the basic effect and aesthetic.

Stardrone isn’t necessarily a bad game. It’s a cheap and cheerful arcade bounce-’em-up which could become a massive hit in futuristic arcades in the year 2070, it’s just not exactly addictive to those who love or hate it. It’s missing that something special to really give it a spark, and simply rests on its controller snagging mechanics to carry interest. With the price cut in half for Playstation Plus subscribers, it’s effortless inventive gliding is certainly worth a look into, but those who shell out the full price will likely feel short changed.