It is with great regret I felt the need to write you this letter. Despite the fact that some of you are close friends, or respected enemies, the time has come for us to face up to a situation that is no longer tolerable: our attitude towards each other and newcomers.
Letīs face it: we all game for fun, and for a little bit of one-upmanship. But many of you are taking it too far. Being called a “monkey molester” (polite version) over chat because I happened to find your little sniping spot isnīt a good sign, “69McLovin69”. Screaming swear words continually while you play isnīt particularly cool either, particularly when part way through your torrid stream, you have to answer your Mum asking if you had finished your homework. Kinda kills your cred there, “MasterChef11!!1!!lololol”.
Also, please, set up your equipment properly. I donīt want to hear echoes of what everyone in your house is saying, or the sound of you eating your Doritos, “YurMom”. Donīt say you have my back, and then suddenly freeze because you forgot to charge your gamepad. And, please, remember the buttons, “lilKillahxXx”. Your Mum very kindly bought you the console, and let you play the grown-up game with the adults, donīt TK me with a grenade. And then call me a “Close friend of a Donkey” (polite version).
Also, be kind to Noobs. “xSpartan18857700x”, spawn camping only gets you to the top of the table because you are, in essence, cheating. It doesnīt prove your skills to anyone. Donīt use words like “leet”, itīs bad English, and inevitably ends up with a discussion on a) what the word really means, and b) who is the “leetest”. Donīt think you are amazing because you, at level 50, get a 3 kill streak on a guy at level 4. Then bomb him with an unlock. Then call him a “self-abuser” (polite version).
And finally, please, please, donīt quit when you are losing, “PwNYuRAzz”. With a name like that, you are asking for trouble, but bad sportsmanship is a no-no. I lose hard-earned points, you get blacklisted, and no-one wants to play with you.
I hope we can all pull together to address these issues. Our community is only as strong as its weakest (Iīm looking at you, “GhostNinja221”), and therefore, if we donīt improve, I suggest a cull. With a glitch-unlocked stealth bomber. Then calling them all “men of an alternative sexual persuasion” (polite version).
I look forward to your response.