Wet Review (360)

Take that title any way you want…

Members of the male species beware, it seems that women have grown an sadistic blood-lust and are determined to show us up on the fields of ‘Murder, Death, Kill’. It doesn’t matter how many press-ups you do, bench presses you muster and cows you eat for breakfast, mini-gunning your way through hordes of oppressors simply ain’t that cool any more. It’s all about twisting bullets, gravity baffling gymnastics and bending the laws of time and space itself to at least stand a chance of staying afloat in a sea of limbs in this digital age of violence. If anyone is proving that it’s always style over substance that survives in this ocean of madness, it’s the femme fatales of video-gaming. Lara Croft with her acrobatic tiger sniping, Bayonetta’s high heeled head shots and now Wet‘s own Rubi Malone with her…womb storing slow-motion…action.

The simplicity of Wet‘s storyline lies under gallons upon gallons of gore. There’s nothing running through the blasé plot that hasn’t been seen elsewhere before narratively. Yet in order to combat its own minor incompetences with some outstandingly high octane set-pieces. The combination of the two form a joyride that doesn’t break many boundaries, but is sure to keep patrons entertained from beginning to end.

To compliment the over-the-top action, combat has been moulded in such a way to make it stylish, satisfying and accessible to all. A tap of X practically tears any aggressive felon in two with Rubi’s samurai sword, and gunplay is but a simple shoulder button flicking affair until you actually put some effort into it. Jumping through the air or wall-running whilst firing any weapon causes some form of tear in the space time continuum, as time degrades into a manner to suit your Chariots Of Fire playlist. This also give Rubi a chance to reach for a second firearm, automatically sticking it to a second daft punk laughing about her poor multi-tasking capabilities. Though not an entirely original concept to bring to the table, it does form a competent backbone for the duration of the game. Even though it feels like cheating, every cheap shot made will always bring about a smile for the merciless.

A joyride that doesn’t break many boundaries, but is sure to keep patrons entertained from beginning to end.

Slicing, dicing and gunning down is always excessive fun, yet Wet‘s unique hard hitting soundtrack kicks the action up several notches. All firefights are driven by a twisted contemporary rock playlist which almost convince you that you’re playing your part in a cinematic spectacular.

From the get-go, Wet kicks off at 500mph and has no intentions of stopping. The fast-paced action doesn’t halt for anything. Loading screens are masked behind drive-in movie trailers which further enforce the ‘Grindhouse’ aesthetic that spreads its grit over each and every pixel. Unfortunately this dirty charm lacks any real meaning, other than to attempt to gloss over the slightly decrepit visuals. Though a nice touch, without much meaning it becomes something of laziness masked in artistic doubt.

No matter how sly and energetic Rubi is, the rapid pacing brutally stabs the poor girl in the back after what seems like an afternoons worth of mass murder. Linear level design leaves little complexity to the title, leaving the entertainment value leaning entirely on the combat. It makes the whole experience as a blistering spectacle, but one which lasts just as long as every samurai allergic brute that comes your way. Multiple difficulty modes may persuade you to stroll down a road which forced you to run the first time through, but trying to make players go through again simply earning better scores through multiple playthroughs threatens to make the jaw dropping sequences we all came for a structured bore.

Once you’ve blitzed your way through the story, it’s hard to know where you stand with Wet. It seems the value of the whole game upon the commitment of the player and a few odd Gamerscore boosting achievements. Needless to say, the brainchild of Prince Of Persia and Quentin Tarantino makes for an impressively blissful bloodbath from beginning to end. A pleasantly simple gaming appetiser it may be, but it’s going to be a big hit at your local rental store.