You're a pool playing ninja. That time you potted six balls in a single shot - stuff of legends. Maybe you did embellish it a bit, adding that you were blindfolded, with one hand tied behind your back and under attack from a posse of angry badgers - but it was a shot alright. Played for, too.
Now there's Pool Nation, the brand new pool game from CherryPop Games and Mastertronic out on Xbox LIVE Arcade 31st October 2012. Not only can you pull off the shot of the decade, but you can keep it forever too - play it back at parties, bar mitzvahs, home alone - wherever it feels appropriate.
Thrill Aunt Marge with a slow motion replay of your most epic shot. Watch as she almost chokes on her lightly glazed donut as the camera tracks the white ball, flying into the air before landing on the pack, sending them scurrying like rodents in some kind of possessed tumble drier.
See the adoring looks on the faces of your impressionable younger cousins, as you take on the best of the best in the Pool Nation tour. They're impressed alright. They wish they were you. When you soundly beat the final, toughest opponent, you can almost sense the tears of pride in their eyes. Let them worship you. You've earned it.
Finally, there's Dave. He never knew that chalk dust in slow motion could seem quite so erotic. You've got the most shiniest balls he's ever seen - he says he can almost see his face in them. And he's eyeing up your cue in a manner that makes you feel funny. You want to challenge him to a game of endurance - it's like psychological warfare but with shinier balls - but you're not sure he's got the stamina to last long enough. At least that's what his girlfriend has hinted at. But it's OK - there's another eight game modes to play, and you're pretty sure you can humiliate him at all of them.
Later, and you're on your own, playing against someone half way around the world on Xbox LIVE. You've just beaten him. Another notch on the pool cue. You didn't have the heart to tell him that last shot you just pulled off - that once in a lifetime jumpshot-swerve-backspin combo - was caused by the cat using your leg as a scratching post. He doesn't need to know.
You're a pool playing ninja, baby. A hulking great, pants wearing, oxygen breathing, food eating, pool playing ninja.
And you've got the balls to prove it.
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