Jurassic Park: The Game Review (PSN)

Is it worth a revival, or should it be left extinct?

Call me paranoid, but alongside building 10,000 volt electric fences to house dinosaurs, I’d dangle a nuclear warhead over my 50-foot carnivore infested theme-park just in case. Although scientists may be intelligent enough to bring dinosaurs back from the dead, they’re only human, and therefore too stupid to comprehend an inevitable breakout. Still, it’s far easier to criticise the cretins on screen when you’re not the one doing the running, and Jurassic Park:The Game sets out to stop know-it-alls screaming about impending danger, and start just generally screaming. Jurassic Park: The GameRemember that bumbling cretin of a ‘nemesis’ Dennis Nedry, the butterfingers destined for unimpressive slaughtering? The can of dinosaur embryos he tried so hard to get away with lies coated in dirt and floating in sub-plot limbo ripe for plucking. Set during and after the events of the first film, The Game focuses on the trials and tribulations of those left behind, but also those greedy and moronic enough to fetch their hands on those million dollar embryos. Of course, with a fresh batch of carnivores and an exciting yet alarming sounding ‘mystery dinosaur’ roaming the island, simply surviving is going to be something of an ordeal. In a rare move for a Telltale game, you’re rarely ever locked in a room with nothing but a whisk, a coat-hanger and a 1983 Madonna calender to work your way out of it. Rather, the makers have peeked over the shoulders of Heavy Rain to nab….well, nigh on all their ideas. Playing out like an interactive movie, Jurassic Park is filled to the brim with QTE’s, much to the detest of anyone wishing to slay dinosaurs with pure free will. However, there’s a much larger emphasis on escape than conflict, and with some rather tightly directed sequences, the on-rail button mashing does actually work. Relying so heavily on a mechanic that requires honed reflexes actually proves to be the games strength, shattering your nerves as button prompts creep forth from every corner. When you’re not dodging jaws, you’re investigative skills are put to the flicker of a test. Staring at environments littered with button commands, you’re forced to scour areas for anything that can help you out. There’s a few stand-out moments here and then, but nothing up to the calibre you’d be used to with a Telltale title. Thanks to these ridiculously dull segments, the gameplay takes one of the bizarrest roller-coaster rides I’ve ever been on, rapidly blitzing through action sections before patronising its QTE based gameplay by making you trudge along boring environments in a dreary process of trial-and-error. Supposed brain taxing problems actually become over-hyped glimpsing contests, it you’re long sighted, you may have some trouble progressing here…but hell, at least you’re getting a challenge.

Had I purchased this sporadically and had to lie in wait for latter episodes, I’d only stumble into future instalments to justify the price I paid rather that return in eagerness

Perhaps another positive chalked up for the action based sequences is that you don’t have to listen to your characters forced moans and groans. Cocky-man Yoder has so many one liners it’s like he’s hankering for a sitcom. Mercenary Oscar mumbles all his dialogue in a peculiar accent that I can only describe as ‘Middle Earthish’, and Doctor Sorkin has such a backwards thinking activist approach for all the dinosaurs that you just want to shoot her and manufacture burgers from her corpse as bait so that she’s actually useful for something. Although the game focuses on an entire ensemble rather than one main character, park vet Gerry stands out as protagonist as he a) takes up the most screen time and b) is the least annoying. Gerry certainly does deserve props as some kind of super-dad, however, as if I had a daughter as ignorant as Jess weighing me down, I’m not sure I’d have the patience to carry her to rescue. Jess is a teenager who seems to have acquired all her habits from petty extras in 70’s teen horror flicks. She sounds like she’s constantly battling puberty with no clear winner in sight. Every third word is ‘Cool’ or ‘Awesome’, even if she just picks a scab without making it bleed, it’s something of an achievement to Jess. She’s keen to remind everyone that she’s an avid shoplifter in a desperate and slightly bizarrely characteristic plea for narrative context. Even her screams from the gullet of a T-Rex echo in mediocrity, as if her final thought was an optimistic one seeing as she’d never seen a dinosaurs’ bowel before. Had I purchased this sporadically and had to lie in wait for latter episodes, I’d only stumble into future instalments to justify the price I paid rather that return in eagerness for the next turn of events. It’s a shame that the brain-dead team don’t have any compelling voices in them, as they actually look fairly impressive. The characters have well-rendered facial features that are a step above those of Back To The Future: The Game’s, contributing to the park’s more serious undertones of survival. Unfortunately, it can sometimes be hard to recognise what’s a wrinkle on their panicked faces and what’s horrid screen tear. There are some ghastly technical errors here, from visual hiccups to audio screw-ups where dialogue will dip momentarily before blasting forth once again, this is certainly not the smoothest game you’ll play. Although these aren’t probing enough for the patient whilst watching the cut-scenes, they are certainly not welcome when running for your life. Mainly because your nerves are already dazed, but also because freezing can muck up commands and lead to some rather unfair messy deaths. Jurassic Park: The GameThe final few moments (i.e. Episode 4) really do whirl your brain into a frenzied panic, with events taking a huge turn for the worse and leaving you in a absolute state of buggery. Unfortunately, it only highlights for what the game has done severely wrong, with a slow paced plot that no one really cares about and dinosaur-less quick time events that crush the atmosphere with their mundane nature. In some moments of less panic stricken scenes, I was surprised I wouldn’t have to press O and X to simply wander down corridors. Jurassic Park: The Game certainly manages to capture the horror of being stalked by the deadliest of predators. There’s something exceptionally bitter-sweet when crushing the controller in absolute terror, adrenalin praying for the next button command to appear. The plot, however, can’t keep up with the game’s manic antics, the characters can’t extract a fibre of emotion from their fabricated souls and the technical issues can mar enjoyment of both gameplay and cutscenes. Every part of me wanted this to succeed, and even if Telltale relied more on their familiar trademarks, it totally could have combined well with the fast-paced QTE sections. Unfortunately, an effort to revive Jurassic Park has left us with a rather schizophrenic game, one that’ll leave you jumping in horror before taxing you with a collection of boring activities as adrenalin pumping as flossing.

The Good: Faithful to the film, Characters look great, QTE’s actually work really well when you’re fleeing dinos…
The Bad: …but don’t work so well when you’e simply trying to open a door, Mundane characters
and slow story, Some marring technical errors


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2 2 / 5

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